Petals of Pain

Ok this is really my last update....

2005-11-10T00:32:55Z

Hey you. Yes. You. Friend. Enemy. Stranger.
Reply to this entry on a whim.
You can say anything about anything.
Me. You. Him. Her. Them.
Envy. Passion. Hate. Love. Fear.
Secrets. Confessions. Stories. Ideas.
Facts. Myths. Legends.
A N Y T H I N G.

Post anonymously.

FUCker OFF

2005-10-17T09:00:24Z

So...Its offical....Ive decided that my thoughts are to precious to be wasted of the deaf. You can say alot without saying anthing at all... If you want to read my thoughts or care about my life then cool...comment to be added. Otherwise dont bother if your not going to read or comment/contribute...its jsut crap and silly wasting your time and mine. lol My real friends can comment and Ill add you to my new journal but for now this journal is going to stop being written in. ::smiles::

You become your own skeleton...

2005-10-16T01:04:11Z

Loving someone is such a risk.... and I dont want to feel this anymore. Its not worth it.

Night is fast replacing morning, not the worst time for me. Everything seems too excsessive, too intense or important. Wasent sleeping much, not at all. Suddenly not sleeping at all. Unable to close my eyes, body too tense; brain seethed from the night before untill morning. Robbed of my only safe house...like its sane there anyways. But still it was my only way of sane. Awake a consept I havent fully grasped yet, As if dragging myself on the god damn ground from place to place was truly awake. Yet it is this way, because hey Im functioning...Im tired, all the time now it seems. When I think about leaving, thats when I get more tired, thats why I need more sleep. But things arnt that bad, not yet. There are still methods that work. They say I have some hidden talents? Yet for me its hard to imagine this gritty girl, an empty girl; with any hidden talent. I dont give a damn anymore...If it hurts let it hurt! The things which hurt instruct, Im immune.....?

...So Ive been writing alot...sheesh:

Voices one cant hear will never be forgotten

Sounds that cant be seen cannot be reconized

Traces never searched will be the one not fallowed

Hunger gone unnoticed leads to certian death

Pain that wont let go can only mean my sorrow

A trust always broken can always see my mind

My secrets never told will lead to my destruction

The voices I can only hear

Are Screaming

Its creeping back inside of me, exploding ... blazing and for a moment I open up and can see every horror so clearly. Its like water...I’m wet...drowning. For the first...second, I’ve lost count. Every time a new definition of pain, resentment, intoxication. A fascination of anguish only described in the screams that echo from the darkness. I have found hell in these moments.
I’m sick to my stomach, sick of this shit, and sick of the way I live. I can breath and can’t stop this feeling within my head. I did go back to sleep for days: not move, not eat, not dream; maybe not even be. I seriously couldn’t take the lying, I seriously gave up on trying, I seriously couldn’t take the shit; Congratulations I’m officially whipped. My dreams are haunted, my sight is screwed, my lips are burnt and partly because of you. My insides are squirming outsides turning; I need to be by myself. Just a moment to find a place to rest, the place which tries to kill itself. How is it all supposed to work? Like are you supposed to know it all and then battle with the weight of knowing? Or rather are you supposed to go through life blind and try hard, with no guidance, not to fall into a trap? I can never go back.

"When I feel your touch...when I kiss your lips...My mind is free to think" "when your hand slaps down and your eyes start to shift I realize my reality and I step away from your kiss"

Im ok (trust me)

The gates have been sealed and the keys thrown away....

2005-10-14T16:14:29Z

:« heres to the nights we felt alive «:

Honestly oh mystery tell me Im not scared anymore...

2005-10-13T04:59:14Z

Inside her frail voice whispers, her reassurance, it withers away. And that smile she's slapped on her face, is dripping and slipping her whole life away

Cant remember what Im supposed to do anymore.

"These days no matter what I drink, I only taste blood."

In the darkness you will find...a way to leave your world behind

2005-10-11T07:46:46Z

I cant explain this weekend at all...Fucked up shit...fun shit...I guess I had fun ::smiles:: there were moments man. I missed alice im glad shes back and she and larsen had a blast. Place was clean when she got back. I fucking lost rowan her cat for 2 and a half days...fucking scared me so bad. I thought I was going to die, even went to check the neighbors. S-I-G-H but she was found so I could breath *thanks josh* Anywas so it went for good to great to bad to worse over the days but I survived the puke the stuid drunk girls the sex the fights the lack of cigerettes the girlfriends the kiss(es) the lost and found the lack of beer the robberys and the hookups so woohoo. Made some new friends and saw some old ones it was a blast but Im so glad its over. Even had Rob and me and Sean...family in a party situation, psh as weird as drinking with my dad man. Anyways so other then that I really cant describe how fucking crazed it was. I have bite marks *keith* and brusies and hickeys and one hell of a head ache lol some day my body will pay me back for this.

FUNNELS FOR EVERYONE!

Me and Sean are cool

Shes so pretty

Cait is HAWT

Weird kids

Jerry and Kathy are my lovers

Wtf haha

OMG chips are yummy

Aw Kristy and Josh

Puff Puff

John and Danielle are cute

Fucking Puff haha

Who woulda thought I would have had this kid in my house let alone enjoyed his company!

Sean wants to take Mike under his wing teehee

DRAWING ON THE FACES or BODY

Sean hits the floor haha

I lost that asshole...my damn arm

Yeah thats right! we so did

But not before cookies...

And drawing on keith

Josh helps mike out with the permanent marker stains lol

What a pair

Celebration of the negative results!

Birthday dances for rob and kathy

Cheers to kristys first shot

CHEERS

Raining aND makeup is bad lol

w...t....f

Aw haha he looks cute in my glasses?

Mike too!?

Kathy makes danielle spred em

Mike dies
Me and keith were the last ones standing! well so to speak lol

CHEERS TO BEERS...or my dad getting laid sigh...w.e

Dancing Queens

Me and my birthday girl

Rocking the cock well or amanda hah

Oh my darling danielle

Then john showed up so I imediatly gave him a shot...

He liked it!

Rob rocks out! Headbangin

Josh is one scary motherfucker

Jerry bleeds?

AW babies

Beer pong lasted maybe 5 mins

Dorks but i love them

Oigh

This is cute

Berto and me...well fuck you up

My lovleys

Sluts !!

Dancing in the rain makes you need a cigar!

Danielle and Alissa fucking rule <3

Dancing in the rain

My show girls

Three lovley ladies

Kathy shows Danielle a dance

Its a rap!

Sunday had no pictures...it was a shitty nite that I wont forgot so soon but it was lame and my head hurts just ranting about it. It was just too long and too many. Plus the camera died and chrissy took the comp cords...she took my mothers celphone charger too teach me and her a lesson lol SIGH! So no pictures for that day but it blew big time so w.e. We drank more and then cleaned The End. Thanks for the help cleaning to my boys xoxo, love you much.

this is almost touching what beauty is

2005-10-07T18:31:12Z

I would rather fight with you e v e r y d a y then make "love" to a million men

So with electical tape and alot of irratation for the moment my camera functions...how long thatll last? well till the batteries die ha then Im fucked. Chrissy is now saying I snaped my own camera... S-I-G-H is all Ive gata say. Alice is going away for the weekend. I get the apartment to myself lol. Should be nice to get away from it...its getting rough at home, if i could call it that. I want to call it that. So if anyone wants to come chill let me know ::Smiles::. So working hard all the time now is well haha hard but Im likeing the change in it. But yey Ill be seeing leafy soon so im excited! Ill be taking off fer that teehee. Discovering and things and people...some things/people change....some people/things dont. Ill be moving on by the time they realize it. First ime in a while I can honestly say Im proud of myse;f. but Ill be fighting this darkness as hard as I can...I cant go back, I wont.

"what its like to be alone and every thing cold but you look to the moon to find that man to give you comfort...to realize that even the man in the moon has shund you, but you keep on looking up, cas your friend is always there to make sure you do"

blackartist @ 2005-10-05T18:57:00

2005-10-05T23:03:19Z

Sometimes when it gets dark and the stars are lit with stars...Im sitting waiting and lonley. I have alot of friends, and alot of good friends...so then why cry myself to sleep. Why feel so dark, I fear how dark I have become...my outlook remains hopfully for something , anything to make this feel a little better. But everytime it gets dark I remember...and I feel it Last night was one of these nights I speak of...I sat alone and drank and watched space and time linger in the same spot for a while. Its not so much that I am so unhappy that it can never be rectified (or at least i hope not) its just that one thing after another seems to protest the reflections in my eyes.

Chrissy broke the only material possesion that ment anything to me, my camera. I dont know what to do about her anymore..Im trapped and no matter what I still want to help her...I think I have to leave. My tears have dried up and For all its worth...Ill feel everything, and sucumb to this dark. But I wanted to live for the moment...maybe I will again.

We all have a dark side...

blackartist @ 2005-10-04T13:44:00

2005-10-04T17:45:17Z

Shit

Such a Beautiful Disaster

2005-10-03T01:16:42Z

I'm better off everyday
When i'm standing in the pouring rain, I dont mind...most of the time.

The gates have all been sealed, the keys thrown away
I'm composed of the broken hearts around me
I've drawn blood until the souls lost faith
.....They wished upon every unspoken word

:¨·.·¨:
`·.·´ So Birthdays and parties this weekend, absolutly lovely. Pictures and stories later as soon as I shower all this off me...a nice warm shower will do me good after this weekend.

Happy Birthday Rob...Love you. Freaking 20...Wheres time go...::smiles::

...haha a shower and food later here are the pictures.

LATER

Saw a movie with marlise and this was to tell the time lmfao

I got a candy apple!

SOOOOO PARRTTTYYYY

We spelled it wrong and we completly sober...

Surprise!

Aw cutness haha as he yells "you all fucking suck!"

We pretended to send them out for milk haha thats the milk!!! all for the milk!

Confetti teehee

lol love the face

lmfao but we didnt make hair sheesh but it was funny

ok Ian saved my life the whole fucking nite i love him so fucking much!

This (christina) gurls my hottie ha she was gana leave and then everyone was like omg we need your number lmfao even i got it ::wink::

Rob got a computer and a jacket and this was his face hehe

Oh deanna banana

They decided to have a jam session lol

Aw there so cute two sisters and the boy hehe

ok the other guy is AL and he wouldnt leave me alone he kept touching me and asking me out and calling me beautiful and omg it was scary so this represents him telling rob how hot i am...sigh

Were so awsome...barbie deanna and me hehe

haha deanna is wicked cool

UMmm shh

lmfao look at matts face...tiny was so in a huggin mood

haha and the after face lol

CAKEEEE

Smoker had trouble blowing them out lol

Tiny and Josh...so drunk hah

After josh shoved his tounge down my throut

Barbi and Deanna were my helpers haha

Woohoo were cool ...lol

I missed laura so much

Laura got ingadged to Ian so there the best team EVER i love this ring

Al...needed to take a pic of us...totally creepy lol

Josh passing out on my shoulder

Horayyy shots

Or not lol

Trillian kitty

The rasta haha

Shes the best

Part of the family...Kristen,Deanna,Chelsea, and ME!

I love kelly!

haha Christina is fun

Rock on O and Tiny

Im tired here but I was the second to last one standing haha

The lingerERS

Hey im awake!

haha lincking is funny

So im lighting a stog and out of no where one lands in my boobs lol

Praying to the cigerette gods hehe

This picture is funny

So wasted hehe

So damn cute these two are

After carriying josh lol

BERTO

Alice looks so scary haha and drunk i love it

So in the mood for gross messy food hehe

O gave me a leaf?

lmfao "help me im covered in dirt" so weird

Best time ever really I had so much damn fun...Im getting to realize that I dont need the approval of other friends I thought I had, I have really good friends in general right now. If anything Highschool weeded out some not so good ones I guess. Why am I trying so hard to be happy? I jsut want to know what it feels like for a moment...is that silly?

And I hallow out my insides to place you in...

2005-09-30T18:00:17Z

Its becoming steady more beautiful out everywhere I look...My mind is clouding but my eyes are clear. After the storm remnise I walked and drove *shh* around and realized how amazing it is sometimes...to just watch in silence. You should try it some time...jsut watch and wait...it can be pretty wonderful. In all the misguided understanding you can find a place to jsut rest and grip onto this reality that seems so damamging sometimes. To take a breath and have it really feel like a breath of fresh air...but then I light up a cigerette to the real world, and choke.

Birthday bliss

HA crosseyed birthdays

Sunset after the storm

When all the world says go...I just want to stop

And the skys settle for a time

Lines....

Crossed....

This is the kid I work with hes a handfil but i love him hes co damn cute.

Adorable

WEird

Fuck off hehe

What has purpose in a place full of doubt when the lies keep you down making you fall into frowns

2005-09-30T17:18:12Z

This makes me laugh and makes me really really happy haha is that sick? no its not its great! so ENJOY! <33

I believe in the stars and headlights of angels....crashing and burning in the darkness of times

2005-09-29T19:08:44Z

"life is a banquet and most damned fools are starving to death."

So Saw some ladies and we had a blast doing nothing haha then Dylans borthday which was alot of fun...weird having my whole family in one place...like a dream. The got along too ha, how long will that last?

So on my latest ranting thought... I have not been understanding what the hell is wrong with people. Love being in love is one thing...then you feel the need to display it everywhere, away messages, journal entrys, profiles...like dont you think we got the point? Does everyone really feel the need to prove their love? Not in the brave way but in the disgusting look at me he/she really loves me way. or is it rather that they just cant find a way to just be happy w.o feeling the need to boast about there findings. Look I have a heart in my profile arnt I special? Get a grip...whats the point in cheaping your feelings like that, to prove a point that your shallow enough to display feelings like its your world. Like you life ends with them and also proving that you a two year old who feels best when throwing relationships to the whim of "profiles". You in love? stop putting it everywhere, being in it shopuld be enough people. The distant removale of any real meaning to the words...words arnt enough, wheres the action? Wheres the meaning people sheesh.

Cakkee

My family is all at one table... and being nice?

There we go

He was so tired hehe

Deanna loves me teehee

Yeah thats my brother hehe

Were the coolest

All us kids...

Plus deanna haha

Freaking three banditos haha

Its a feista!

Yey Kerry!

Fuck a bitch up haha

My cat looks like the devil hehe

Yey Rachel

Im a pimp teehee

We fucking rule teehee

How lovley

Three ladies teehee

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DYLAN

So should see ladies again later today then hopfully to alices to clean madly bwhaha lol. W.e thats life, End.

How ironic?

2005-09-28T22:57:19Z

<td align="center">

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

So um Dylans birthday...waiting on people? Later Days

One day youll see me again,The seething white regret of shame splatterd on your face will be enough

2005-09-28T04:10:34Z

Work yey got a new better job that pays better double yey! Talking with alice about moving in there soon. My own place with my own life...collage in january for Social work/Psych... Ill have my car by then as well as the cash to produce gas and such. Meaning I can get the third job as Andrew personal assistant ::joy:: pays even better, and Ill really be able to effect some change with him I hope.

Anyways I feel awful emotionally...dark and lonley, scared ofw hat comes next. I feel like Im running from somthing...I jsut wish I knew what. Watching friends Ive know forever do the same things, no bodys really changed no matter what they say. All the same bullshit spred thiner or thicker to pretend there lives had less meaning back then when they were "kids". Strange I always thought of myself as behind everyone, I used to watch these people, my so called friends and enemies tripping over the people around them trying so hard to strive for some goal or rather the goal of doing nothing at all. Whats worse : Doing nothing or Doing everything? You fumble for the chance to prove you can be better to not only yourself but every one around you...but the sick truth is that your the same person running in place. Doing the same things youve always done, thinking the same. Chance your apperience and it wont make a diffrence, change your perspective? and be afraid for a new world that your not ready for. Whats worse: To try and fail or to never strive to succed and never fail?

So I also got the privlage of seeing Marlise today breifly. Im so glad, she reminds me of leafy alot...good company always makes me happy. Its not the same....Is that sick? Im not trying to replace her jsut the feeling of safeness I get whenever Im around her. I suppose thats just silly. But marilse and me had a wonderful time so I suppose it doesnt matter.

Maybe Im scared...Maybe Ill fail...But I cant run anymore
Im changing

"She really needs to break and just give herself away...waiting for the day some one tell her shes going to be ok....in stead she lies in waiting for a breath of air to take her inside and leave her there"

It a beautiful world... somtimes

Where do we go from here

I love this shot

It gets destroyed every year...but it still trys to grow another way

I might have a drinking problem....I seriosly thought of knocking over this truck lol

Poor fat kids...

Mid laugh and she snaps a picture

Its cool i got her back hehe

Horayy

blah blah blah

2005-09-27T03:46:51Z

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places - worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere - going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression - no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow - no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very, very...
Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday - happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen - sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me - no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me - look right through me

And I find it? Mad World
Enlarge your world
Mad World

...God help me

Nothing was as real as her imaginary world

2005-09-26T13:39:33Z

Exausted...Me and Brit are both Wineos haha. Dinner with Skye and Brit. Attempted movie that failed (story later). Annoyed Mertz at work and ate everywhere we went haha. Anyways I have work so Ill update later...Im feeling really bad latley...I really miss my friends, all of them.

"Im afraid Im going to forget the sound of your voice"

...well its later all right

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a378/fuckerroff/45255.jpg
Skyes so gangly haha

She sucha hottie

Looking at our highlights

Yet more highlights

This has a story.... see we wanted to drink in in the theater all of a sudden and so the movie didnt start and were figting with the cage thing on the top of the cork to get it out. I expected a sound but thats it really. So I give up and Brit continues to fumble with it till 2 minutes into the movie it bursts all over the place. The gay couple next to us the family behind us it was horrible huge sound at a quiet point in the movie pluse wine everywhere! Ok story over hehe.

Funny faces

Bang Bang

I really couldnt tell yea...

haha such lovley ladies

Skye had an accident...lmao

This is a dead bird...enjoy it

LOOK! we discoverd it haha

LOOK twice haha cool

Alex is camera shy hah

Stonnedd

Crazzyy hehe

Cause were the ones that fight the good fight in the darkness of the night youll find me there

2005-09-25T17:22:03Z

Every that was there are the only people that matter to me right now, with some few exceptions. I found out who my real friends are and...I had a blast. I had a HAPPY birthday ::Smiles:: I cant describe how happy last night made me. So with !PictureFanomonons! hehe It will be documented. Heres to amazing people and amazing nights...Heres to the nights we felt alive.

WTF this woman stole harry potter and gave him a love potion!!?? this world is so fucked UP?!! No harry no fight it fight it!?!>!?

Click here to watch '8Bitches167'

I wonder why we listen to poets
When nobody gives a fuck
How hot and sorrowful
This machine begs for luck

All my lies are always wishes
I know I would die if I could come back new

I want a good life
With a nose for things
A fresh wind and bright sky
To enjoy my suffering

A hole without a key
If I break my tongue
Speaking of tomorrow
How will it ever come?

My Men haha They made me cake and food so nice :)

Dad + Sean Rob got me this necklace ::Smiles::

My dad made me my first Drink with him for my birthday We can now offically have a drink together ::<3::

LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!

sHE SMOKED A sTOG FOR MY BIRTHDAY HAHA

haha she inhaled and didnt like it teehee

Oh to be a pro

I taught her hehe

The lovley Miss Tiffany

Look what Ive done haha

Why are all the gay ones hot!?! + Drunken phone calls

My ladies in waiting heheh

My beautiful Kathy

LMFAO Missy open wide....

Erica loves Danilles tounge haha

Look at that so do it!?

Drunkey had his mouth full

P-I-M-P pshh haha

Im in love with this picture look at their fucking FACES?!?

BANG BANG

What shots? yeshhh

I got alot of tounge filled birthday kisses but I cannot post those haha so this is my coming up for air...sheesh hehe

We are WIcKED cool

Matt is the best

I hate DEvon cas shes beautiful

Alices plays with Cona bear

Seans kinda drunk...

haha let me refrase...Sean is WASTEDD!

Two of my favorites Jhonny O and Kathy

puff...puff..pufff...puffff...oh fuck was i supposed to pass?

Ahh well Grant got it eventually hehe

Devons Puffin on mannn

Damn right Kerri Gross!

Were pretty toasted me and Grant

Pfft I lie were gone haha

haha me Marissa and Hilal are fucking amazing

"FUCK whoever didnt come cas this party rocked!" haha i love her

Teehee alice likes me

My posse is now Larsen Alice and Chris

Oh and Emo life you live

Haha look at her face she was trying so hard not to laugh haha

Lifes beautiful hehe I got a shirt off amoung other things for my birthday haha

LIKE his dog bwhaha Cona baby

A Good MOrning after

Ill always be a BUD girl now and always

The remains after the Party if the century lol kidding but still pretty kick ass

This....

This.........

This...........

People are sometimes remarkable at the times when you least expect it.

Its all over...IM 18

A Job well Done

Somehow all my peices fell together...

2005-09-24T13:14:31Z

So my birthday like always started out horrible. I got woken up after only an hours sleep at 5 30 in the morning! to screaming cas aparently my lil brother and sister were not going to school. SIGH So after my mothers mini mental breakdown and rocking and crying and me sitting there numb trying to make sense of it all, Went to work and shoping for food for the party tonite. Day got worse with the stress and then better. Alice and me and Adam went to go see Corspe Bride and it was good, but sad, so if you wanna see I receomend being stoned or somthing cas the singing and colors are amazing but its sorta sad. I ran into AJ and he rock me hardcore I missed him sooo much! Then home to pretend I was still awake and lots and lots of food later we all died happily EVER after the end- Oh and Rob showed up...my bother who I never see showed up with flowers ::smiles::

And the sky opened up...

Birthday CROWN

Ahem...

Double Ahem...

Oh fuck it!

The birthday boy too!

And finally cake HORAYY

On another note this is my amazing shout out to all the friends (in no particular order!) that made my actually birthday DAY special...thank you soo much you have no idea what it ment to me to see a comment or call or Instant message just letting me know you cared, I know its totally corney but I so needed it.

Alethea
Anjuli
Denise
Amanda
Mandy
Rachel
Fany
Maria
Mel
Stephine
Dawn
Marlise
Daniele
Jillian
Tiffany R
Mike
Elise
Erin
Amber
Kristen K
Kristen
Michele
Stephine P
Alice
Larsen

Hmmmmm Bite Me?

2005-09-23T04:50:48Z

?Happy? ?Birthday?

Im just hoping that this birthday doesnt end up like every other birthday <3

But Ladies and Gents its offical! Im Legal Bitches haha! The one and only 18.

Never give in unless to the convictions of honor and good sense...this isnt over

2005-09-22T04:59:33Z

So Friday is birthday woohoo cant wait. Saterday is party time. I got all my tattoo money stolen so Im fucked...thanks to my lovley sister...sigh, I dont know what to do anymore. Were running out of time. And I dont know how much longer I can take her...well forget it Anways so other then that not too much going on. I got some cool letters and I love my friends they'll always have my back. Makes me feel happy.

Im in sucha artisitc mood latley. Camera whore much haha. Just too busy latley to take notice of things that are beautiful...well Im going to take better notice.

Trying to fallow My Childhood Dreams of being Happy

You don't know how sick you make me
You make me fuckin' sick to my stomach
Every time I think of you, I puke
You must just not know--whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa
You may not think you do, but you do
Every time I think of you, I puke

Fuckin' bitch

You make me fuckin' sick to my stomach Every time I think of you, I puke

2005-09-21T02:19:31Z

Ive been called a "stupid bitch" ladies and gents....Its on ::smiles::

DUN DUN DUN!
What you wanna fight common fool lmfao

I wont wast my time with some stupid fucking entry. Long story short people need a life!

Anyways...ok night other then that...pictures are lame but so much fun hehe.

Only when I stop to think about it

Walk...Dont walk...Im afraid to take the next step

Red is the color of my blood...green is the color of my eyes

Kitty in my sink hehe

Sleeping kitty in my sink!

Beautiful fall has FINALLY fallen

Is it worth the fight...YEP

lights will guide you home...I will try to fix you

2005-09-20T17:43:25Z

He was raised in the days when the roof was raised
Every rap occasion, new & amazing
The back of the stage amazed and gazin'
Prayin for the day they would one day praise him
Studied the ways of the game & made it
Came through the maze & the haze & played it perfect
Days any person hated & cursed him, he was unfazed
He waited, it was worth it, he never retaliated
He saved it, slavin', on the road blazin'
Days when he was low, nothin' could raise him
He came to the show & somethin' uncaged in him
Like the pope, but its party crusade, I'm like braids that's never gon'
fade (ya heard)
I'm like, 23's on an Escalade, throw me into the rave
like you threw a grenade - BOOM!!
I call for the days of the unadulterated
When the artistry was cultivated
You know, back when rap was smart and multilayered
We could rap without A&Rs& ultimatums (damn)
Now today I could say I long for the days when the party was all about
partyin'
I was a mini-party starter then
My mind bends when I call my pen
The big question should I run the mind a vittle
Food for thought or dumb the rhyme a little
But Will "if you come to high that'll alienate folks & they won't buy
it"(yo),
Look, people getting trapped in the track
& they be clappin', even when the rappin' is wack
Yo, what happened, when did we get happy wit that?
He's old-fashioned (yup), but let's be happy he's back
(Ya heard me!)

just promise me one thing....you wont ever forget me?

2005-09-20T02:43:42Z

WhAt A wAStE

What a bad day and nite and life...its all jsut plain fucking bad, sigh.

Your relection in the moon

What a waste

Asher my damn cat

Never got the point

Face to Face with Reality

Aw kitten face

Let it burn away

"You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone"

"And I think I'll blow my brains against the ceiling
And as the fragments of my skull begin to fall
Fall on your tongue like pixie dust just think happy thoughts"

blackartist @ 2005-09-19T01:30:00

2005-09-19T05:30:56Z

Hecate

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla